Last Christmas
by heartlandiansoisle
Summary: My annual Christmas story. The tensions are high when Lou comes back to Hudson from New York to spend Christmas with the rest of the family. While the plans don't go quite the way anyone expected them to go, without anyone knowing, this Christmas turns out to be something the family will look back on for many years to come.
1. Chapter 1

Marion Fleming leaned down from the back of her horse, Pegasus, so she could get the mail from the old box that had the last name "Bartlett" written on it. The steady gray horse waited as she balanced herself to the left side of the western saddle and waited till she was done picking up the newspaper roll that had scattered mail inside.

It had been around dawn when Marion had saddled up Pegasus and decided to go for a trail ride. When she had passed the Heartland ranch gates, the sun had been setting its first rays from behind the mountains and had also cast enough light around so she could see that the postal carrier had not yet been to the ranch, though, she would have known this even if it would have been pitch black - as it sometimes was around this time of year at the Foothills if the sky was cloudy - because she had been living at Heartland all her life and nothing ever changed around here; not even the times when the mailman came and dropped off the mail.

If ever they were late, the Bartlett-Flemings would have known that something was wrong. Sometimes Marion even got in a truck and drove to see if maybe the mailman had driven off the road or been blocked by a fallen tree (or a cattle that had been able to escape from their grazing area), as that had been the case few times.

Here in Hudson, the community was everything. Everyone looked after one another since everyone knew each other and their ways of living.

As she had left the ranch behind that morning, Marion had counted that she would have enough time to go around the Mustang Meadows until the mailman would have lifted the red flag on the mailbox to let her know that their post had been delivered.

And just like predicted, the mail had arrived as she was about to enter back through the gates.

While Marion stretched her stiff legs, Pegasus waited still as the woman on him went through the mail. _The newspaper for Dad,_ Marion talked inside her head, _a horse magazine for me and... a Christmas card for Amy._

Marion flipped the card over, wondering who it was from, but deep down she already had her suspicions.

 _"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year"_ , it said, _"Love, Dad."_

Marion looked at the handwriting and felt a sudden case of nostalgia. It wasn't that she missed Tim, per se, but something about his handwriting took her back. Back to the days when the man had been on a circuit and she had been at home, treating horses and trying to raise their two daughters. She had often gotten phone calls from Tim while he had been competing, but every now and then, he had written her an old fashioned letter.

Marion had preferred those.

It wasn't that she had not liked the phone calls and hearing Tim's voice after not seeing him for days - weeks even - but with her Dad hovering around, they hardly got any privacy.

A letter, however, had been more private, just between Tim and her. She still had all of them stored up in her wardrobe and even though she never revisited them these days, something about having them there made her feel safe.

(Or maybe she only still had them because she rarely threw anything away.)

Either way - she was not planning on getting rid of them any time soon, even though those days and those feelings were long gone now.

Back in 1997, Tim's handwriting had changed. It had no longer been as composed as he had had a hard time even holding a pen. A rodeo accident had left him with many problems, especially with his motor skills, and more importantly with a lot of pain. That had been a beginning of a string of events that had eventually lead up to Tim leaving Heartland - or getting kicked out, more like - and Marion divorcing him.

 _Maybe there were some things that did change after all,_ Marion thought to herself. _But not often._

For the last few years, life at the ranch had been the same. She, her daughter Amy and her dad, Jack, had had a good thing going on even though they were still missing the old days with everyone still there, including her mother, Lyndy, who had passed away some years ago.

There was however something different about this year as Marion's older daughter, Lou, was actually coming to visit the family from New York. It had been a while since Lou had been to Heartland and even though things had been bad when she had left and many fights had been had between Lou and her and Lou's Grandpa, Jack, Marion was still looking forward to having her daughter home. Lou, or Samantha Louise as she officially went by, barely kept in touch, so it was going to be interesting to hear about her different lifestyle back in New York even though it was not the kind of life Marion could ever imagine living herself.

But seeing that Lou had lived in New York for years now, never visiting them, it definitely seemed like she was very suited living that kind of urban life.

Marion was brought back to the current moment by Pegasus, who let out a long sigh and leaned on his other hind leg, as a sign of boredom. She laughed a little because the horse was not afraid to speak his mind, even though he didn't speak a word of English. Still, Marion was able to understand what he was trying to say and wrapped the mail back inside the newspaper roll and snapped the elastic band around it.

"Alright, alright... I hear ya. Let's go", she said, clicking her tongue and making the horse move with barely any pressure on his sides.

* * *

When the screen door slammed shut at the ranch house, Marion could smell the fresh coffee coming from the kitchen. She kicked off her boots and felt a tingle on top of her toes as they were getting accustomed to the temperature that was more preferable for a human body.

"You got me my paper?" Jack asked when Marion placed her hat on the chair at the mudroom and pulled out the newspaper under her arm. She had left her horse magazine to the barn office as she usually spent more time there than inside the ranch house.

"You got me my coffee?" Marion asked in return. The woman walked closer and handed over the rolled newspaper where as Jack already had her coffee in a mug as he had seen her approach across the yard after she had been done with putting Pegasus to the stall.

"Thank you", Jack said as the exchange was done. Marion gave him a nod and sat down, fiddling the Christmas card between her fingers.

"Look what I have here", she said. Marion knew she was probably pushing her luck by bringing up Tim Fleming in this house, but at the same time she had her coffee already, so she didn't feel like she had anything to lose anymore.

Jack glanced at her and then at the card that had a picture of a bronc rider with a red cowboy hat on it. The man looked at the card for a while, his face puzzled - until he realized.

"Again...?" he asked, sighing. A line formed between his gray eyebrows.

"Well, he is her father", Marion defended. "I don't know; it makes me kind of glad he's still thinking about Amy, after all these years."

"It's one thing to be a father than to be a dad", Jack scoffed. "And I think we both know that _after all these years_ ", he sent Marion's words right back at her, "he should have done more than sent Amy a postcard every Christmas and every birthday."

Marion laughed, mocking Jack. "Not like you'd let him be any more than a postcard twice a year, even if he wanted..."

"Well, no, I wouldn't", Jack admitted without any shame in his voice. "But you know damn well why. Or have you forgotten what he did all those years ago? Or who he was?"

"No..." Marion admitted, looking down. Her eyes locked on the card as she was feeling like whatever nostalgia she had just experienced was wiped away by a dose of reality from her Dad. "But I'm glad he seems to be doing okay. That's all I ever wanted for him."

"Now, how would you know that?" Jack asked, curiously, not giving a flying duck about how Tim Fleming was doing. He was as good as dead to him. "Or has he actually, for once, written something else on the card than "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year"?"

"No, but his handwriting has gotten better", Marion said after her in-depth analysis back at the mailbox. "It's less... shaky."

"Or, maybe you're just reading too much into it. Literally", Jack said, not wanting his daughter to feel any empathy toward a man that had almost ruined their lives back in the day.

"Maybe. But you know I have good intuition", Marion pointed out, knowing Jack couldn't deny it because her whole reputation as a horse woman leaned on her having good sense of things. She then glanced around as if she was searching for something - or someone. "Where's Amy? Is she up?"

"At 10 am? Not a chance", Jack hummed. "She's really taking advantage of this Christmas break. But... she should really get up already. There's a lot to do, with Lou coming into town and everything."

"I'll go wake her up", Marion promised. "Thanks for the coffee."

Jack nodded, already sat and reading the newspaper like his life depended on it.

Marion walked from the kitchen to the door that lead to her daughter's bedroom. Before knocking, she took one last look at the card before handing it to Amy, feeling like all of a sudden Tim was more present. They weren't in contact these days and whatever communication they had had after Jack had kicked him out, had been one-sided. Sometimes Marion felt bad about it, but at the same time, she had liked to think her withholding her response had made it easier for him to move on.

For all of them to move on.

But no day went by when Marion didn't think about Tim Fleming, especially whenever she was around Pegasus. The horse was still (un)officially Tim's, but the gelding had stayed at Heartland ever since their accident with the man, as Marion had patched him up and been able to help the horse in his road to recovery - unlike with Tim. Pegasus still wasn't fully himself, but he was mostly back to health and a link that bound her to Tim even though they weren't in speaking terms.

Still, it was good to know, even twice a year, that Tim was still out there, thinking about his family too.


	2. Chapter 2

Amy was woken from her dream as her mother knocked on the door and quickly entered her room soon after. It had been a good dream, too, as she had been galloping on a black horse between birches and felt so free. She had never known anything closer to flying.

And not only had there been some beautiful horse, there had also been some guy behind her, holding onto her, his arms around her waist. That had made her stomach flip - in a good way. She had had no idea who that could have been because she had not been able to see his face.

Maybe Jesse Stanton?

Amy knew he had some kind of thing for her - and who else could have made her feel so safe? Not anyone else she knew.

"Time to get up", Marion exclaimed, sitting down at the edge of Amy's bed. Her weight made the mattress jump a little and the movement woke Amy even more - and the annoyance inside her.

"Mom, you should knock first!" Amy said, her voice hoarse.

"I did", Marion said, innocently, fiddling the card.

Amy sighed. "And wait till I tell you to enter..." she added because she realized her mom had once again done that thing where she did, in fact, knock but did not wait long enough for her to call her inside.

"Well, you were sleeping, so who knows how long I would have had to wait till you would have called me in", Marion said, looking at her daughter who was trying to hide her head underneath a pillow to shield away from the wake up committee. "It's 10 am. Come on, Amy, you should really get up."

"5 more minutes..." Amy groaned.

Marion sighed. Typical teenage behavior. She then looked at the card.

"I got you something."

"What is it...?" Amy asked from underneath the pillow. She wanted to know if it was worth coming out of hiding.

"It's a card. From your dad", Marion said, waiting to see Amy's reaction, but it was pretty hard when her whole head was covered by a pillow. Still, her body getting tense gave her away. "I just thought you might want it before your Grandpa decides to warm up the hearth and use this to light it."

Amy tore the pillow away from her face, making a mess of her long sandy blonde locks. She looked at the card, almost as if it was somehow dangerous. Eventually she sighed.

"This is starting to become awkward", she said, taking the card. Marion studied her eyes as she looked at the picture and then the text behind. Her eyebrows wiggled a little as she expressed disbelief. "Always the same text."

"I know..." Marion said, a little disappointed, too. In a way she wished Tim had more to say, but she wasn't sure what she even expected him to say. What was there to say, after nine years of not being in someone's life? Nothing seemed good or important enough. In a way, Marion still appreciated the effort, but Amy probably didn't see it the same way.

"I don't even know the guy, not really. I barely have any memories of him", Amy said, even though Marion knew this. "I guess this was cuter when I was younger, but... he could pass me on the street and wouldn't probably even know it was me. We are just two strangers and yet... he sends me cards."

"Do you want me to get rid of it?" Marion asked, wanting to make her daughter feel better. As she watched her daughter's big blue eyes, she could see the internal struggle.

"I don't know... Do what you want with it - I don't really care. It's just a piece of paper", Amy shrugged a little, looking at her mom and wondering if it hurt her feelings. Then again, she and her dad were divorced, it probably wasn't as if she still loved him. Wasn't that why people got divorced? When they no longer loved each other.

Marion nodded, deciding to put it away with her letters from Tim. Maybe one day, Amy decided she did wanted to have a relationship with her father and would end up regretting getting rid of the card.

But then, she would have an ace of her sleeve - or in her case, a postcard - and she could let her daughter know that she had actually decided to keep it and Amy would be happy Marion had not decided to throw it away after all.

"Okay, well, now that you are awake", Marion said, getting up and placing the card at the back pocket of her jeans, "I need your help with the horses. So, get up!" She tugged Amy's cover, but she grabbed it quickly so she wouldn't be exposed the coldness of the house.

"No, stop! It's freezing out there!" Amy fought. The warmth of her bed was now gone.

"Don't I know it. I already went on a trail ride with Pegasus", Marion said.

"You're such a weirdo!" Amy scoffed, making Marion laugh.

* * *

The next day, Jack, Marion and Amy were standing at the gates of the Calgary airport, waiting for Lou to arrive from New York. Amy was texting with her friend, Soraya, and they were agonizing because they would be separated for the holidays as Soraya had flown to Quebec and Amy had stayed behind to Hudson.

"Put that thing away", Jack said to his granddaughter. "Your sister is coming, you should be focusing on that. - Don't make me tell you twice."

His tone was firm, and Amy knew better than to try and defy that. She slipped the cell phone to her jacket's pocket and looked around. A lot of people were flowing through the gates, many of them finding someone to greet or hug, but she didn't recognize anyone who would have looked even remotely like Lou.

"Maybe we should hold one of those signs that has her name on it", she trifled. "It's been so long since we've last seen her, maybe she doesn't even recognize us." Lou was just like her dad; a stranger who could pass her by on the street and not even flinch.

"She will", Marion believed. "Look, there she is!" she then noticed a familiar face among the crowd. As she was trying to get her attention by waving her arm, Marion realized Lou wasn't really even looking. Her ear was glued to a phone as she pulled her luggage and had a handbag clinging on her other arm. This was not the girl she had seen leaving to New York, even though she looked vaguely familiar.

"Those damn phones..." Jack muttered as he too realized Lou's attention was someplace else, probably in New York.

"Anyway, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later", Lou said when she came in front of them. They all waited for her to be through with the call. Her tone was chilling, business-like, and Amy noticed she talked with a weird accent. She had been in New York for too long. "Okay. Bye."

"Hey!" Marion said with enthusiasm and went for a hug. Lou looked like it wouldn't have been her first response, but wrapped her other hand - that was still clutching the phone clumsily - around her mother. "How was the flight?"

"It was alright", Lou said, quickly leaning back and glancing at Marion's beige jacket with chaps on the sleeves. "Wow, it's like I never left... 90s called, they want their jacket back. How long have you had this?" she scoffed, judging Marion's fashion choices and then moving onto Jack as he wanted a hug too.

Their embrace was not any warmer, if anything, more chilling as it seemed neither of them wanted to really hug each other, but it was what was expected.

Marion didn't understand Lou's comment. "It's a good jacket. So why change it?"

"When was the last time you went shopping?" Lou asked rhetorically. She knew that her mother wasn't into fashion; Marion wore clothes that were extremely practical and baggy so she would have freedom to move around and do whatever she needed to do with her horses. Sometimes she went for days without a shower and to her, the smell of horses was Chanel No.5.

"I buy clothes when the previous ones are all torn and worn out. And I'm not done with this", Marion said, not getting hurt by the snobby attitude. She had not expected Lou to be unphased by the New York lifestyle, of course some of that city attitude had rubbed on her as she had been there for years now. "Besides, it's my favorite jacket."

"Whatever you say", Lou mumbled, not really hugging Jack for too long either.

"Good to see you, Lou." The man tried to act nice, but it was clear their last exchange still haunted him.

"I guess we didn't need that sign after all", Amy joked, making a nod about her "worrying" if Lou would recognize them. "Seems like your jacket did the trick, Mom."

"What sign?" Lou asked, hugging Amy too.

"Doesn't matter", Amy said because it seemed like Lou wasn't really in a joking mood. "Welcome to Alberta, Lou."

"Thanks..." she replied, looking around. "God, everything is so small here."

"Everything but the sky", Jack commented, not wanting to listen to Lou go on and on about how bad everything in here was. He waved for them all to follow him. "Let's go. We can't leave the horses alone for too long."


	3. Chapter 3

Jack was paired up with Amy as they climbed into his old, golden Chevy. Meanwhile, Marion helped Lou get her luggage into another old, red-colored truck she used when taking care of errands. The vehicle was full of dents and scratches, gained over the years of trailering horses and moving around on rough roads.

After she was seated, Lou put on her seat-belt and crinkled her nose as she looked around. The chair between her and the driver was covered in dirty gloves, dusty leads and unorganized papers, and the leg room was full of all kinds of crap.

"Do you ever clean this truck?" Lou asked when Marion got in, even though she already knew the answer because the evidence was around her. "It's so... dusty... and it smells!"

Marion buckled up and chuckled a bit. She wasn't offended by Lou's attitude as it was so pretentious to her that she couldn't take it seriously.

"Look at you. I almost don't recognize you. Back in the day, you didn't have a problem with a little dust or smelling like horses. You really have become like one of the city folks, eh? Whatever happened to the horse crazy girl I used to know?"

"She's long gone", Lou announced. Marion knew this. After Tim's accident, Lou had completely shut out that part of her world and almost systematically tried to be the opposite of everything she had once been. That had probably been one of the reasons why she had clashed so often with the rest of the family, Marion thought. "Besides, I would be embarrassed to look like I'm from Hudson in New York. No one would take me seriously."

Marion thought the comment was water on a duck's back as she was not quick to get offended, especially about something she was passionate about.

"Isn't there a place called Hudson in New York, too?" she asked, getting a look from Lou that she greeted with a smug smile. But there was something she did want to know and figured it could be tied with Lou's current attitude. "Is that why you haven't come to visit? You think the country will rub on you?"

"I've just been busy", Lou said. It was true, to some extent. Part of her had also been nervous to face the past and the people she had left behind. "After getting my degree-"

"You got a degree?" Marion asked, even though she shouldn't have been surprised; Lou had always gotten everything she had set her mind on, so of course she would get a degree too. That had been part of the reason why she had went to New York in the first place.

"Well... yeah?" Lou replied with a short scoff, her American attitude coming through.

"It's not that I don't believe it, I just... didn't realize it was something that you had achieved already. I guess around here you sort of lose the track of time", Marion spoke as she checked from the rear view mirror that Jack and Amy were behind them. "So many years have gone by without me even really realizing... We have a lot of catching up to do."

"I guess we do", Lou admitted. Even though she realized there were many things she had not let her family in on, there must have been some things that had changed around here, too.

Or maybe there wasn't.

As she looked around, everything still looked the same. Even the people looked the same, except for Amy, who had suddenly turned into a teenager. She looked more and more like their mother.

"We should celebrate", Marion said, looking at her daughter with a pride in her eyes. "We don't have many people with degree in our family. If any. It's a big deal, Lou."

"Thanks, Mom", Lou said sincerely. She knew that around here, degrees might have not mattered much to some, but she herself knew she had worked hard for it and just as any labor in the country, it had required a lot of time and effort.

"I'll make a cake", Marion decided. "You always liked my cakes, didn't you?"

While Lou was a little annoyed that Marion seemed to still treat her like she was a teenager, even though she was now a completely different person, she did have point.

"I always loved your icing", Lou admitted.

Marion smiled, feeling like she was getting the connection with Lou back.

"Famous family recipe", she stated, even though her secret was that her icing came from a can.

But Lou didn't need to know that.

* * *

After they had arrived home, Lou got settled in her old bedroom. It was strange being back here, surrounded by the curtains she had picked when she had been sixteen and random items that had mattered the world to her before she had left to New York to pursue her dreams. Now these things were just things she could have easily thrown away.

Maybe she should ask Amy if she wanted any of them as they were just lying around in her old bedroom, like it was some kind of museum, Lou thought to herself.

For some reason, Lou didn't even feel like unpacking. It was like her mind was too restless to settle down now. This place was so quiet, so still, she could barely handle it.

Before she knew it, Lou was knocking on Amy's door.

"Come on in", Amy's voice said at the other side. Lou opened the door and looked into her sister's bedroom. The teenager was on her laptop, talking to someone in a chat room.

"Hey. You busy?" Lou asked, leaning on the door frame.

"Depends..." Amy said hesitantly. She was so distant from Lou these days she did not have any guesses what she could want from her. If whatever Lou was going to suggest was going to be lame, she would always have her chat with her friend Jen that she could go back to focusing on instead.

"I was thinking we could go for a ride", Lou suggested.

Amy looked surprised. "For a ride...? You? On a horse?"

She couldn't remember the last time she had seen her older sister on a horse. Ever since she had quit competing, Lou had refused to get close to horses. It was like they had all of a sudden started to disgust her.

"I mean", Lou sighed, "with Grandpa's truck. I forgot I had to be specific around here..."

"Where to?" Amy asked before she would agree on anything.

"I don't know", Lou shrugged, "around the town? To see if anything's changed. It's been a while since I've been to Maggie's, for example. You still have that, right?" she checked.

"Yeah, we do. I doubt anything's changed, but... I guess I could come", Amy said. "Just give me a second. I'll tell Jen I have to go."

"Alright. I'll go ask Grandpa about the truck", Lou replied, closing the door behind her and leaving Amy to say goodbye to whoever this Jen person was.

As Lou entered the kitchen, she could see her grandfather fiddling some glass jar and reading whatever was written on it behind the glasses that were placed at the end of his nose.

It was strange looking at the man after all these years; he had gotten more gray and the wrinkles on his face had become deeper. Even though Lou could see from Amy that time was passing fast, looking at her grandfather made her more anxious. Time was moving so fast, especially in New York, and even though here it seemed like it stood still, it really didn't.

As Amy was getting closer to being an adult, Grandpa was getting closer to joining her grandmother, Lyndy.

"Yes...?" Jack asked as he noticed Lou just standing there, waiting for something.

"Oh, I was just wondering if I could borrow your truck?" Lou realized she had not actually asked anything, even though she had walked into the old man's presence.

"For what?" Jack wanted to know as he continued to look at the jar and muttering something to himself, almost like making a list.

"Amy and I thought we could go for a ride. Look around at the town", Lou explained.

She felt so helpless here; it wasn't as if she had a car in New York either, but there she could just walk by the side of the street and hail herself a cab. Here she was lucky if she was able to walk few kilometers and come across a bus stop. It was like she was trapped without a truck.

"Didn't you just got here? Why don't you take some time to settle down, unpack your things and get ready to have a supper with the rest of the family", Jack suggested. "Your mother might even need some help at the barn, if you want to be useful."

When Marion had announced that Lou was coming back to Hudson this Christmas, Jack had had his objections. He loved Lou - of course he did - but for years now, things had been calm and he was afraid Lou was somehow able to mess that up. Years might have passed by since the last time they had talked, but Jack could still remember vividly just how difficult Lou had insisted on making everything back when she had lived here. He wasn't interested on that happening again and would do everything he could to prevent any drama while she was visiting.

"I just wanted to see the town, that's all", Lou said, feeling a little annoyed that Jack wanted to control her. She felt like a teenager again and she didn't like it.

"Well, you're not doing that with my truck", Jack said, having the final word, not even really looking at Lou anymore but showing more interest in going through what was said in the jar.

Lou scoffed and shook her head. It was as if nothing really had changed around here! She stormed to the mudroom, put on her city boots and grabbed her coat before heading out.


	4. Chapter 4

Lou's steps were heavy as she walked out and crossed the yard, heading to the barn on the right side of the ranch porch view. She had not remembered the distance between the ranch house and the red old barn to be this long, for some reason. But in this case, maybe it was a good thing it was little longer than she had recalled, because it gave her a moment to calm before going to see her mom. If she wanted Marion to be more co-operative with allowing her to lend her truck, then being annoyed because of Grandpa probably wasn't the best way to come into the situation.

As soon as the smell of the barn reached her, Lou froze.

It was something she had not smelled in years, even though occasionally whenever she was in Central Park and someone passed by with a carriage pulled by a horse, it made her think home.

That smell had once been her solace, but now it only made her stomach turn. The memories came back in a rush and she was overwhelmed by them. Some part of her missed this, missed this smell and being surrounded by the horses inside, but a bigger part of her insisted leaving all that behind because it would only make her hurt more, just like before.

While Lou was reminiscing, a white horse pushed his head over the stall door and stared at her, almost as if wondering why she was just standing there, outside the barn, when she could have come inside instead.

"Pegasus...?" Lou immediately recognized and almost like under a trance, she walked closer, now no longer caring about her other thoughts and feelings. The horse seemed to recognize her. "Hey, boy..." Lou reached out her hand and caressed the horse's strong neck gently.

Another thing she had not remembered was that horses were this big. It almost seemed impossible to think now just how she had been able to tell an animal this size what to do and where to go - well, most of the time. Each horse had a mind of its own and that had been part of their charm.

"Funny seeing you here", Marion commented when she walked out of the barn office and went to write something on the blackboard that hung on the wall. She had done a double-take when she had heard someone enter the building. The last person she had expected to see here was Lou, yet here she was. "There used to be a time when I couldn't get you out of here, especially when Scott was still living with us..." she teased, smiling. "But that was, what... ages ago."

It made Lou blush.

 _Scott..._

God, she had not thought about him in a while. It made her wonder what he was up to these days. Did he still live around here? Lou didn't want to ask from Marion, even though she probably knew and was keeping in touch with him, he had been under her supervision once, after all, and had become like a family member after living upstairs at the loft while on probation.

Lou glanced at Marion, brushing off her comments about their ranch hand she had used to go out with, feeling more awkward about how her mother had caught her "red-handed", spending time with a horse when she had once claimed she would never again enjoy being around them.

"I didn't know you still had Pegasus", Lou admitted.

"Why wouldn't I?" Marion asked, even though she knew why Lou might have thought that. Still, to her, giving up on a horse was not an option, not if there was still the slightest chance. Marion knew most people would have given up on Pegasus over the course of his recovery probably a million times, but she had never given up on hope.

"He was in such a bad shape when I last saw him... I guess I figured-" Lou trailed off, shrugging, and putting a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. "You've done great work with him."

"It's not all on me. He did most of the work himself", Marion said, putting down the chalk when she was done drafting next week's plans. She walked closer and brushed her hands quickly together, wiping off the chalk dust. Marion then looked at the horse proudly and smiled. "It's amazing what a horse can do when you give them a chance to prove they can do just that - and more."

"I guess", Lou said, happy for Pegasus but also feeling a little bitter over the other one getting hurt in the same accident. "Just wish you would have had the same faith with dad."

As soon as Lou changed the subject, a chilling air surrounded them. It was not the breeze coming through the barn doors, but Marion's realization that Lou would never truly understand things her way. She would always see her father as a some type of hero when he was anything but that. He was just a person with a heavy baggage.

"You really think I didn't...?" Marion had to ask. Lou thought so little of her. "You think I just pushed him aside and rushed to help Pegasus?" She knew that Lou had been a teenager when it had all happened, but she was now old enough to understand that things were not as black and white as she would have liked to think.

"I don't know", Lou admitted, "sometimes it seemed that way. It was all about horses for you. _Pegasus needs me... I have to go to see Pegasus_ ", she recalled Marion saying. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's okay and I'm happy you helped him, but... it just sometimes seemed like you didn't care what else was going on. I barely saw you inside the house during the hardest years of my life. All of our lives."

Marion shook her head. "I did try. I really did. But your dad... he refused the help. Not much I can do about it."

Talking about it took her right back. It had been difficult to keep it together back then and in a way, helping Pegasus had been her choice of therapy. Who knew where she would be now if it had not been for the horse.

"So, you're saying you never had hard time with Pegasus? Was he always willing to work for it, when he was down and all messed up?" Lou asked. "Based on all the horses I've seen you help over the years, I seriously doubt that he was easy to help and understand after his trauma. Dad just needed a little support too, that's all. You should have given him another chance."

"How many chances is enough?" Marion asked, getting irritated. Lou didn't even try to understand. "I couldn't just stop the world for him. I had you girls to think about - bringing in money - my own sanity! Dad's grief over my mom! He was dragging us all down! He needed professional help, not a horse whisperer!"

Marion sighed deeply, trying to get rid of the irritation when she realized the horses were getting affected by it. She didn't want that kind of atmosphere here.

"Look..." she continued, more calmly this time. "I know there are things that are hard for you to understand, but I did what I thought was best for the family at the time. It might have not been storybook perfect, but it was what needed to be done back then. We've moved on here, so has your dad", Marion tried to explain. "I mean, look at you. You have a degree and everything. I wanted to give you chance."

"So you just locked him out? Is that how you solve problems?" Lou said, trying to understand, but struggling.

"No... He locked himself out all on his own..." Marion said. It had not been easy for her either, seeing a man she had once knew and loved, becoming a stranger before her eyes. "Doesn't matter... It's just my side of the story. You either take it or you leave it."

"How do you know he's moved on? Do you talk to him?" Lou wanted to know. She had kept in contact with Tim every now and then, but didn't talk to him as much as she wanted. But every time they did talk, Tim always made sure to tell her how much he missed her and Amy.

"No, I don't", Marion said. "But he just sent Amy a Christmas card and he seems to be doing okay. So... I think we should just all just collective try to move on with our lives."

"He sends her Christmas cards...?" Lou asked with a small, almost child-like voice, completely ignoring Marion's suggestion about moving on.

Marion could tell from the look on Lou's face that apparently Tim didn't do the same thing with Lou - and now she was jealous. Her mouth was open, her sad brows positioned on the outer sides of her face like she was some type of cartoon character and her eyes were getting misty.

"Yeah, but-" Marion did not have time to say anything more when Lou walked out and started getting back to the house. Apparently whatever she had came here to do was now completely forgotten.

* * *

Inside, Amy was still on her computer when Lou pushed her door open. She had not been able to stop chatting, even though she had told her friend Jen she would probably take a ride with her sister soon. Somehow all kinds of things they had wanted to talk about had popped up at that moment.

Amy's relaxed expression changed as soon as Lou just barged in.

"Do you mind?!" Amy said, even though she wasn't even doing anything private. She just didn't like when people didn't respect her boundaries and walked in like they owned the place.

"Did you get a Christmas card from dad?" Lou wanted to know, not being able to think about anything else but that at the moment.

"Yeah, but... I asked mom to get rid of it, because it's not like it matters", Amy said, shrugging, not understanding what the big deal was.

"Get rid of it?!" Lou repeated with a breathy tone, almost like Amy had just tossed some kind of valuable thing away like it was trash. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

"I am...?" Amy asked. This was news to her.

"I haven't heard from him in months, he never sends me any postcards", Lou shared, looking sad. "He keeps misplacing his phone a lot, because every now and then he calls me from an unknown number and says he has a new one. So it's up to him to keep in contact."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can have the card. Just ask from mom if she threw it away already", Amy said, turning back to her computer, that way signaling Lou that this conversation was now over. She didn't want to spend more time talking about a person she didn't even remember. "So, are we going?"

"Going? What do you mean?" Lou asked, not following.

"The ride you wanted to go on", Amy reminded her. "With a truck, not a with a horse."

"Oh. That. Uhm... That's... not happening", Lou filled her in, not explaining why, but Amy didn't even seem to care. At the moment, neither did Lou; she had other things to think about. "Did the card have his address? Do you know where he is these days? The last I heard from him, he was somewhere in B.C."

Amy shook her head. "No, didn't have an address or anything. But if you want to play Shirley Holmes, you might get a place out of the post stamp, or something", she suggested, but then changed the subject. "Okay, so... we aren't going anywhere then?"

"No", Lou said. She was still feeling restless, but it was no longer about the house, it was the people around her. Somehow she felt her dad closer but she couldn't get him close enough.

"Okay, then look yourself out of my room, please", Amy replied. If this ride was not happening, then she would rather spend her time chatting with her friends.

Lou backed out and closed the door behind her. She walked into her room that shared a wall with Amy's, and sat down on her bed, feeling out of place in every possible way. No one here understood her. Lou doubted Marion would give her the card and if Grandpa knew anything about Tim's whereabouts, he wouldn't tell either - and Amy, she just didn't care.

Still, it was good to know Tim was still alive, at least.


	5. Chapter 5

The fire crackled in the hearth when the family was getting ready to eat supper. Eating together seemed to still be a thing around here, Lou thought, but it didn't exactly surprise her. Her grandfather was a firm believer of things never changing and it seemed like Marion and Amy were the type of people who liked to follow that as well and stay in their comfort zone, so there really was no reason for anything to change around here when it didn't have to.

Once upon a time, this had all been nice, getting together and talking about what everyone was up to, but now, with all of them sulking a little, it was the last place Lou liked to be at - but Marion had made cake for her and had insisted on her participating, so she had.

"Alright..." Marion said when she brought her cake from the kitchen with her famous icing on top. "Lou, would you like to do the honors?" she suggested when she placed it on the table and was about to hand her the cake server.

"Uh, yeah, sure", Lou said, reaching out her arm but before grabbing anything, Jack cleared his throat.

"Before you do, there's something I'd like to say", Jack interrupted them. He wiped his mouth on the side of his napkin and then stood up at the end of the table, putting the napkin down. "Marion told me that you have some type of degree now and that's why she make the cake for you."

He looked at Lou who was nervous to hear what Jack had to say. The old man had a habit of giving small speeches on special occasions and he wasn't bad at it, but when the circumstances were like this, Lou felt uncomfortable.

"Now, I don't claim to know anything about those, but I do know that it is a big deal, especially in New York", Jack said. "And... it makes me proud. If your grandmother were here, I'm sure she'd say the same thing."

That made Lou feel a little bit better. While her grandfather was caring, he could be extremely strict and sometimes bull-headed and that didn't go well with Lou's stubbornness. Grandma Lyndy on the other hand had been more free spirited and loving, no matter what. It still made her sad to think Lyndy had passed at such young age and would not be around to see her and Amy get married and have kids - if that day would come - because she would have loved all those things and been a very good great-grandmother.

"So congratulations, Lou", Jack said. "From all of us."

"Yeah, congratulations, Lou", her sister said, sat on her own place, next to Jack.

"Well, it already happened in May, so it's kind of old news", Lou replied, feeling a little strange that it was made to be such a big thing now, months later, when she had already celebrated it with her friends and boyfriend Carl in New York back in the spring.

"Well... it's the first time we've heard about it", Jack commented, feeling like Lou didn't appreciate the effort they had put into everything. He had even made his famous gravy for her, yet she was always ready to show her ungratefulness. "Maybe if you had told us about it back then, we would have celebrated it then. Even if you wouldn't have had time to come and see us."

"What are you trying to say?" Lou asked, noticing the bitter undertone in her grandfather's voice. Her eyes got smaller as she peered at him.

On the other side of the table, Amy kept looking at Lou and Jack as if this was some kind of tennis match with words.

"I'm not trying to say anything. Just that we haven't seen you in ages, so you can't blame us for not knowing about something you didn't tell us, that's all", he explained, defensively.

"Well, I've been busy. And to be frank, I didn't think you'd even care", Lou admitted. "I mean, a degree here doesn't mean a damn thing. What matters is how much you have acres and cattle and that's just not the life for me."

"So, are you saying you're too good for this kind of lifestyle?" Jack asked, feeling a little hurt how Lou seemed to act like he was above all of this. "You should be more thankful; those acres and those cattle raised you. If it weren't for this ranch, you wouldn't have your fancy degree!"

For Lou, it felt like everyone was coming for her. Marion making excuses for her behavior back when Tim had gotten hurt, just so she could have a chance, and now Jack saying she should be thankful for what she had, because it was mostly due to her country background that she had gotten this chance to get the degree. They were both diminishing all the work she had done for herself to get out of this place and actually make something out of herself, despite being almost destroyed by the divorce of her parents and then being so stuck in this kind of lifestyle, that no one even believed she could go out there and get herself one of these "fancy degrees", as her grandfather had expressed it.

"Stop it, you two", Marion said, not liking how they could make a fight out of almost every possible situation. "Let's just try the cake, shall we?"

Lou got up, tossed her napkin from her lap on the table, and looked at her mother. "Sorry, but suddenly I'm full."

 _Full of crap,_ Jack thought to himself and sat down, annoyed.

Lou stormed to her room and for Marion, it seemed like she was stuck in some kind of time loop, watching her dad and Lou fight on and on.

* * *

Later that night, when everyone had gone to bed and Lou had stayed in her room all evening, Jack laid on his mattress and stared at the ceiling. He still muttered Lou's words under his breath and scoffed, out of annoyance, as he had hard time getting over what she had said and how she had left Marion so disappointed, especially after all the effort she had put in the cake.

"Jackson, stop that", he heard a woman's voice beside him. He looked on his right and saw Lyndy lying there with a scolding look on her face. She looked as beautiful as ever with a light shining over her. "You shouldn't be so hard on her."

"She drives me up a wall!" Jack tried to explain.

"I know, but she's young. You know how people can be at that age; you were once a little bit arrogant too, remember?" Lyndy reminded, knowing all about that. "Maybe she gets that from you."

"No, I know exactly who she gets it from", Jack said with a firm voice. He was not going to be meddled into this type of attitude, because Lou most definitely had not gotten it from him.

"You mean Tim?" Lyndy guessed from Jack's tone.

Jack's eye twitched almost as if the mention of Tim's name was hurting him.

"Don't mention his name under my roof", Jack asked from his wife.

"Come on, Jackson", Lyndy sighed. "You really should let all of that go. He's out of your life, but he's still making you feel angry, and you shouldn't waste your life being angry. Especially when your granddaughter comes to visit for Christmas."

Jack knew Lyndy to speak sense, even now.

"I know I would give everything just to have one last Christmas with my girls. All of them. And you, of course", she smiled and leaned down to give Jack a kiss.

But as soon as her lips met with his, Jack was startled awake. He stared at the ceiling in the dark for a second, still feeling her late wife's kiss on him. Touching his lips, he was confused as to what had happened. He looked on his right, Lyndy's side of the bed, but it was empty and untouched, just like it had been for years.

Jack sighed. He missed Lyndy, her wisdom and calming effect. It had been hard without her and even though he was happy whenever his wife came to him in a dream, it sometimes felt twice as hard to let go of her again when the dream was over.

* * *

Inside Lou's bedroom, she was laying on the bed too, but completely awake. On the other hand, she too was keeping in touch with her lover from the other side, though not through dream but with a cellphone as she was texting with her boyfriend Carl, who was going to spend the Christmas in New York.

 _"I should have just stayed with you",_ Lou had written to him. _"It's just as bad here as I thought."_

 _"Baby, I will buy you tickets to come back home first thing tomorrow evening",_ Carl had texted back. _"I'm on it now. So find your way to a hotel to get rid of your family and spend what little time you have there alone, relaxing, in a bath while you wait all the information about the flight. I'll pay for it, so you don't have to worry about a thing. You deserve better."_

Lou's phone had been beeping constantly when she had received the string of text messages, but the more had come in, the more of out-pour of love she had felt.

At least there was one person in this world that cared about her and her well-being and that was Carl.

 _"I love you, you know that, right?"_ Lou had texted back.

 _"I know. I love you too, baby",_ Carl had written to her.

Lou was now getting up and sorting her bed, hair and clothes. She had not unpacked her suitcase which almost felt like a sign to her now. Unconsciously, she had known she would not stay here for long.

After calling herself a taxi, Lou picked up her heavy suitcase and found her way to the mudroom. She thought about leaving without a trace, but before she could open the screen door, she stopped.

Even though she was angry at everyone, she didn't want to make them worry. Lou walked back to the kitchen, found herself a pen and paper and wrote a message to her family they would find when she would be gone already.

 _"I'm staying in a hotel tonight and will be leaving back to New York tomorrow. It was a mistake to come here, I'm sorry for taking your time. I'll talk to you when the time is better. - Lou"_

Lou put the pen down and then walked back to the mudroom. She wasn't sure when she would be coming back here, maybe not for another few years, so she took in the house. The sounds, the smell and the little details. Even though nothing really changed here, she still had a feeling that somehow the next time she would enter this ranch house, it would look completely different to her.

When the taxi arrived, Lou walked to it and looked around the yard as well. The snow was softly falling under the halogen light between the barn and the house, making it seem like she was standing in a snow globe.

It was a strange thing for Lou to notice that for the first time since coming here, she felt the best when she was leaving.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Jack sat in the kitchen with his coffee mug and stared blankly ahead. He had the message from Lou in front of him and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. The first response to reading it had been a relief; that somehow he would not now need to worry about this Christmas becoming a mess and full of "Lou drama".

But the more he thought about that, the more guilty he felt.

Was that all he could think about when he was thinking about her granddaughter? That she was a source of drama?

Lyndy's words echoed in his head, telling him to let go of all the anger toward Tim because maybe it would help him deal with Lou, too. They were two separate people and he couldn't punish Lou for what Tim had once chose to do.

But every time he was looking into Lou's eyes, Jack saw Tim and the hurt he had caused, the hurt that he still wasn't over. But the unfortunate thing that followed was that he realized he was already up in arms before Lou had even opened her mouth, not truly listening what she was saying or how she was saying it, because all he himself could think about was Tim Fleming.

But that was not a fair starting point for Lou. She deserved to be heard.

"Morning", Marion walked into the kitchen, her hair messy.

She had been tossing and turning all night, trying to think what to do to help the situation here. Now, with the house all quiet, the fight from yesterday all felt like a bad dream - seen during the three hours she had been able to sleep last night. Maybe things weren't as bad as they had seemed during the night? Everything always seemed worse during the night.

But the look on her dad's face let her know that he was still thinking about it, too.

"Morning..." Jack muttered, taking a sip from the mug. It looked like he had not been able to get enough sleep either.

"Any coffee left?" Marion wanted to know. Jack nodded a little as Marion made her way to the pot and grabbed herself a mug. "I need to go get something from the vet clinic before the holidays roll over and I won't be able to make an appointment before Scott has to focus on all the emergency calls. I was thinking I could take Lou with me; maybe she'd like to see him again after all these years and say hi. That's not too weird, is it?"

"It's too late", Jack said quietly.

"What do you mean? Scott said I could visit the first thing in the morning", Marion said, pouring herself a cup.

"No, I mean, with Lou. She's gone", Jack told Marion. The woman turned around after putting the pot back to its place. "Apparently she left late last night." He handed the note over his shoulder to his daughter, and Marion took it.

"Wait, what..." Marion said, even after reading the message. "She's gone?"

"Yeah", Jack said, expecting Marion to scold her about his behavior because surely it was why Lou had decided to leave. Here she had been waiting for her daughter to come home for Christmas and now it was all ruined.

But that never came.

Instead, Marion left to check Lou's bedroom, just to make sure she really wasn't there and this wasn't all a bad dream too. When she was looking at Lou's empty room, her bed made, she felt more sad. Lou had wanted to come home for the holidays yet she had not even lasted a day.

What kind of place was this? What had happened here? When had they stopped being a family?

Marion read the message again, wondering if she should call Lou, but who knew if she was already on her way back to New York - or if she would even take the call. The note did say that she would like to be the one contacting them, so maybe she should respect that and not make the situation any worse.

Marion walked into Lou's room and sat on her bed to drink her morning coffee. If she couldn't share the morning coffee with her daughter, she would at least like to be where she felt to her the closest.

* * *

When Marion had left to Scott's clinic, Jack decided he could get started on the chores of the day. It would not only serve as his apology to Marion, but also help his daughter and maybe give him something else to think about as well.

After Jack was done feeding the horses, Amy walked into the barn. She had been sleeping in again and was out of the loop about what had happened.

"Where's Mom? And Lou?" Amy asked, coming in to look at the horses. When she had woke up, the whole house had been empty, but she had seen that someone was in the barn. Since Marion's truck was missing and Jack's was still there, Amy had figured he must be the one in the barn since Lou would never set a foot there ever again.

"Your mom's at the vet clinic, restocking before the holidays, and your sister..." Jack said, cleaning after himself. "She left back to New York", he announced carefully.

"What...?" Amy asked, surprised. "When? Why? I thought she was going to stay longer. She had that enormous suitcase and everything. Was there some type of emergency?"

"No, I believe it was all me", Jack admitted and looked at his other granddaughter. When Amy got serious - and a little bit judgmental - she looked just like her mother. It was almost as if Marion was here judging him too. "I know, I know... I apologize. It's just hard for me when she talks to me like that... I get so defensive so quick."

"All I remember about you two being together is you fighting", Amy admitted, now getting more sad than disappointed in her grandfather. "I don't know, I was kind of curious to see what it was like to have a sister again. I've kind of forgotten. But... she seemed so different, distant... I don't really know what she even likes these days. We don't seem to have much in common. I don't know why she hates being here so much, because for me, Heartland's the best place on earth", she continued.

"I don't think Lou hates being around here as much as she hates being surrounded by all the memories - and me." Jack was trying to be honest with himself, so maybe he could let the old things go, just like Lyndy has suggested. "You might not remember all of it, but... it was really hard for her after your dad left and your parents got divorced."

Amy looked surprised and stared at her granddad.

"What...?" Jack asked. "Do I have something on my mustache?"

"No, I..." Amy stuttered. "I just don't think you've ever really talked about dad after he left. At least you never brought him up on your own. It's just new."

"I suppose I haven't", Jack admitted. "He isn't exactly my favorite topic to talk about... But... the reason why I'm even bringing him up isn't because I'd like to reminisce about him, oh no! It's because of your sister. I might have let my feelings toward your father affect how I see Lou."

"What do you mean?" Amy asked.

"Well, like you said, all you remember about Lou and me is us fighting", Jack replied. "I think most of it is because she reminds me so much of your dad."

Amy was curious. "She does? I don't really remember him, so I don't know."

"They were somewhat alike, and I feel like in a way after your dad left, Lou just became more like him. Almost as if Tim was somehow talking through her and making sure that someone here would drive me nuts! It's hard to explain", Jack continued. He didn't want to give Amy too much details as he wanted to protect her as much as he could. "I guess I always imagined it being like that, but now that I've thought about it, I suppose it has more to do with your sister becoming her own person rather than her being some kind of mouthpiece to your dad, and it was hard for me to accept that. I have to admit, her wanting to go away to New York hurt me. I know I shouldn't have taken it so personally, but... I guess the loss of your grandmother was clouding my judgment, too. It was hard to let Lyndy go and then not too long after, Lou wanted to go and see the world as well. You know I'm not good with change, so instead of being supportive - like I should have been - I was starting to fight against everything that didn't have to do with her staying here. I know it's a selfish thing to do and to even think about, but I just wanted to have you all here, for as long as I am here, that's all."

"Grandpa..." Amy sounded worried. "Is everything okay with you?"

Jack then realized he might have made Amy prematurely worried.

"Oh, yes, I'm alright", Jack assured and came to hug Amy. "Don't you worry about me, honey. It's just that when you get to my age, you kind of start living your life as if every day would be your last. Doesn't mean I'd want it to be or it would be, but... you come in terms with the fact that you don't have that much time left anymore and the little that you had, you want to make it count. That's why I wanted to keep Lou here after she graduated from school."

"But you only made it worse by fighting", Amy said, hugging him back. "You pushed Lou away. Of course she felt like going away because all you ever did was fight. Maybe if you would have been more supportive, she would have stayed. I can't imagine she would like to think of you this way, wondering why you're always so cranky. I know I don't like seeing you like this, because I know how you really are when she's not here."

Jack chuckled a bit because Amy was so much older than her years.

"You are right; what I did was wrong. I guess I was hoping she would "come to her senses" somehow if I'd tell her what to do - but you know no one tells Lou Fleming anything... She has to want it for it to happen. And what she wanted was to go to New York. But I'm glad to see that at least you'll be a little smarter than me", he leaned back and looked at Amy, giving her a wink. She smiled a little bit. "I've been selfish, I admit it now, and your sister shouldn't have to pay for it. I am proud of her, I really am. Who knows when she'll be back and now I've ruined what could be my last chance to spend Christmas with her."

"Not necessarily", Amy said, thinking of something and pulling out her cellphone. "I could try to text her, see where she's at?"

"Really...?" Jack said, with a little more hopeful tone, but still holding himself back from wishing for a miracle to happen.

Amy nodded. "Yeah." She started typing something with her cellphone. "Whoever said that cellphones were useless was definitely wrong..."

Jack hummed, messing Amy's hair when he realized that she was making a joke on his expense.


	7. Chapter 7

Marion walked into Hudson's vet clinic and looked around. She heard meowing and distant barks from the shelters as she got closer to Scott's reception desk. The man was checking the sounds of a bunny's inner organs when she reached the doorway. His eyes went to her automatically and because his ears were listening to the stethoscope, Scott's glance requested her to wait for a second so he would be done with the furry patient.

The woman was happy to wait, knowing how important it was to keep calm around situations like this so the vitals could be followed accordingly and the results would be truthful.

It still made Marion smile, seeing Scott surrounded by all of this. She could remember the vet being a young punk with a lot of unnecessary attitude and problems sticking to rules - but here he was, with his own clinic, proving he was more than anyone would have expected him to be.

When Scott was done with the bunny, he pulled the ear tips out, left the stethoscope to hang around his neck and smiled.

"Hey", he greeted her. "Just a sec, I'll put Bouncer away."

"Yeah, no hurry", Marion replied, looking at the fridge that had many pictures of Scott's clients, animals he had given second chances. They all looked very happy and cute, and no doubt gave the man motivation if or whenever he needed it.

He lifted the bunny and placed him in one of the cages on the side of the room, then penning down the time and results so he would later remember what he had heard and when that had been.

"Okay", Scott said then, feeling like he could now fully focus on his former mentor. "Good to see you, Marion. I suspect you're here to pick up your delivery?" he guessed, already going to get it for her from one of the shelves.

"Indeed I am", Marion confirmed, smiling. "Keeping busy?"

"Yeah, it's the holidays, so... you know", Scott said when he picked up a cardboard box full of items Marion had requested from him for the horses she treated. "Somehow the world goes crazy around the holidays. But I'm not complaining, I mean, I chose this because I love helping animals and that's what I get to do."

"I know what you mean", Marion said. Looking after and helping horses was her passion project. She couldn't just not get up from the bed one day and decide she wasn't feeling it anymore. When Marion had been a little girl, she had made the decision to work with horses and she couldn't think anything put sticking to it for as long as she would live. People often said she had "a special gift", a way to see inside horses' souls, that not many people had. That intuition helped her navigate the difficult process of communicating with them and helping them heal.

"The invoice is in the package", the young man said. "And don't worry too much about the due date; you'll pay me when you pay me. I owe all this to you after all."

He knew Marion occasionally fell behind with her payments, sometimes because her business was struggling and other times because she simply forgot to do the boring part of her job as she wasn't that organized. While Scott had a business to run, he was still forgiving toward his old mentor, because it felt wrong to be so hard on her as she was the one who had been taken a chance with her and been so gentle and understanding when he had been struggling.

"Oh, thank you, Scott", Marion said and took a hold of the box. "You know, I had been hoping to bring you a special guest today, but unfortunately she decided to skip the town sooner than expected."

"Oh yeah? Who was it?" Scott asked, curiously.

"Lou. She came by, but... she left early this morning back to New York."

Scott looked surprised. "Oh really? How was she?"

He often thought about Marion's older daughter - his ex-girlfriend - but since she rarely came to visit Hudson, they had not really seen since high school days. Scott doubted Lou ever thought about him - after all, she had other things to think about these days, probably a boyfriend, fiance or even a husband too.

For him, she had always been the one that got away and Scott often wondered if the feelings were still there.

Marion was trying to come up with a story to tell, but then again, Scott would probably see through her. He had been part of the family for a long time and could tell when she was lying.

"Well... things didn't go well with her and Jack", Marion admitted. "And not with me and her either, if I'm honest. I don't know... I can't help but wonder about all the things I should have done differently, not just now but generally speaking. She will probably hate me for the rest of my life."

"Don't say that", Scott replied, shaking his head compassionately. "You know it's not true. Lou's just... opinionated", he tried to put it into words, then making both of them laugh.

"That's one way to put it", Marion admitted, feeling a little better to be around someone who knew Lou so well and could understand the struggle to understand her, but at the same time was experiencing deep, profound love toward her. "At least I know that I'm not entirely bad at guiding young people into the world; I mean, look at you with the clinic!"

"You're not, Ms. Fleming", Scott gave her some credit. "I'm glad I had someone like you to give me a chance. I don't know how I can ever thank you enough for everything you've done for me. And all those horses you help, you're amazing for doing it. Don't doubt yourself too much, you're a miracle worker, and you will continue to help people and horses for years to come. It might be difficult with Lou, but... I'm sure you tried your best with her, given the circumstances. It was not easy."

"Thanks, Scott", Marion said. She came to give him a hug before she left. "That means a lot."

* * *

When she drove back to Heartland, Marion couldn't stop thinking about Scott's words. The young man had come into her life just some time before Tim's accident and seen her at her worst. When the cowboy and Pegasus had gotten hurt, life had become a mess. Still, somehow, things had worked out. It almost seemed like somehow the worst times brought the best out in people. Marion could recall it was then that Scott's interest in medicine had really become alive. He had wanted to help Pegasus just as anyone.

And looking at him now, it was good that he had stuck to it because he was a natural in it with his gentle mind and heart of gold.

Helping Pegasus had been a form of therapy for her, even though it had mainly been about the horse getting better, but guiding Scott had also given Marion hope. Hope that there were going to be people in the future helping others to heal, and she was lucky enough to somehow be a part of that.

Even though she had struggled with Scott at first, eventually everything had paid off and she couldn't have been more proud than when she had been looking at him graduate as a veterinarian years later.

Kind of like with horses, all the trust and love had paid off. Marion was happy she had taken a chance on him.

Marion didn't know if it was because she was again at her lowest from Lou's departure or if she was more hopeful after seeing Scott - or the combination of the two - but she was thinking about all those troubled children that needed someone to guide them and give them a chance.

Maybe she should give another kid a try. She knew there were plenty of those who wanted to prove themselves and she knew she had been able to help one already, so... why not?

Marion also figured Jack probably wouldn't mind the help, with him getting older and all.

Upon arriving back to the ranch, Marion saw Jack and Amy at the barn doorway when she put her truck on the park. It was like there was some kind of intervention waiting for her, but she couldn't figure out what this could have been about. She stepped out and took the box from Scott with her.

"What's going on?" she asked when she walked closer to her family.

"We can still turn this around", Jack announced.

Marion frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The thing with Lou", Amy explained. "I've been texting her, casually, so she doesn't suspect anything, and asking where she is and when her flight is - and she's going to leave in an hour!"

"So we better hurry up", Jack added.

"Hurry up - why?" Marion didn't understand.

"If we're going to catch her before her flight, of course, Mom!" Amy explained. "Come on, we've already made sure the horses will be fine for couple of hours, we need to go now if we want to make it there!"

"Put that box down and follow us", Jack instructed.

Marion was slowly starting to understand what her dad and daughter meant. Lou's flight was leaving in an hour, and they were going to go to the airport to stop her from going back to New York, just like in the movies.

"Come on, come on! Hurry up!" Amy said before she got in Jack's truck.

"There's no time to waste!" Jack continued in the same breath.

"I'll just take this to the barn office", Marion said, starting to get excited and nervous too. Could they really make it happen? Would Lou give them a second chance? But even her dad seemed to be willing to give this another try, so maybe there was still hope. "I'll hop in my truck after that!" she announced while Jack and Amy hurried to Jack's truck.


	8. Chapter 8

Lou was sat in one of the cafés of Calgary Airport and drinking her latte. She checked her watch again, wondering if she should be going to her gate already. There was still some time left to just sit back and enjoy before being jammed into a crowded airplane, surrounded by people who were hoping to spend their Christmas somewhere else as well.

She had been texting Carl all day and knew the man would be waiting for her at JFK with, knowing him, probably dozen of roses. Thinking about him made her smile; the man was definitely one of the best things to happen to her this year. Maybe it was fate that she would end up spending their first Christmas together, after all.

When her cup was empty, Lou dropped it into a trash can and checked the flight number again before picking up her luggage and handbag and heading to the right gate. The airport was busy, so it was probably best to be early.

Lou didn't exactly look forward to being surrounded by sneezing people and crying babies, but she knew the long flight was what needed to happen before she could get back to home.

Home... That was an odd concept. What did it really mean to her?

Was New York really her home? What made something a home for her? Was it where your roots were or where you took your life?

In a way, everything here in Alberta was so familiar to her that it was part of her. From the way people behaved and talked to how she knew she could rely things happening a certain way just because she was a Canadian in Canada.

Home was supposed to be part of her, right? Was New York part of her? Or just mostly the people in it?

Lou shook her head, almost as if trying to get rid of the thoughts. She was now leaving Calgary and it was what she had wanted from the first moment she had gotten here.

Then why had she even come? Could she really even explain it?

There had been some sort of feeling of wanting to see her family, even though she had not seen them in a while. She couldn't quite explain why that was, but most of it probably had to do with Grandpa. Every now and then, Lou thought about him. Missed him. She thought about calling him often, but never knew what to say. There had been an idea of asking mom, Grandpa and Amy to come and visit her, but she just couldn't ever picture that happening, especially because Jack had probably never even been on a plane before; he wasn't going to come to New York, somewhere he would feel so out of place and suffer through so much just for her, especially because they weren't as close as they used to be.

And Amy had her school and mom had her horses. Asking them to come to New York would have been a task. Where would she had even put them? In a hotel? That would have cost a fortune, and Lou could imagine that neither her mom nor her Grandpa would have been willing to pay that amount for even a day, let alone a week.

So in a way, coming home - or Hudson - had felt like the most practical solution. At least she wasn't forcing someone out of their comfort zone, and at the same time being in the presence of her family had somehow felt more natural than calling someone over the phone.

But maybe there was more to that as well.

Things with Carl had been going great, so great, in fact that Lou had started to think about her future with him. Maybe somewhere down the line, he would propose to her, they would get married, buy a house and have kids. It didn't feel like a bad thing to her, but at the same time Lou wanted to be sure that it was what she would like to happen to her, especially in New York. Somehow coming home and making sure that New York was exactly where she would like to be had sounded like some kind of solution.

Right now, it seemed like she had definitely made sure that the city was where she should be, where her life was and there was nothing she was missing from her old life.

But at the same time, Hudson still felt like home. Like everything she was now was due to where she had come from.

Maybe Grandpa had been right.

Maybe mom had been right, too.

As she got closer to the gate, Lou was beginning to have regrets about how she had just left in the middle of the night and not even given Hudson a day. Maybe she wasn't running away because of the people, but because of herself. In New York, it was easy to pretend to be someone she wasn't, but in here, she couldn't do that. She had to face everything, every little disappointment she was trying to run away from and it was just too much when there was the option to live a life full of happiness and pretending in New York.

Without realizing, Lou noticed she was getting teary-eyed. As messed up as her family was, she still loved them deeply, but it was just hard to express that to them. She did miss riding horses with mom, braiding Amy's hair and helping Grandpa fix his hopeless truck. But somehow it was all the bad stuff that had come to the surface now and it was making her feel like Hudson was the last place on earth she wanted to be, when in reality, sometimes she longed to get a break from the busyness of the city, just so she could watch grass move and listen to the birds chirp while she was having tea on the porch of the ranch house.

Then Lou froze. Her body refused to take another step and her heart skipped a beat as she saw familiar figures in front of her.

She didn't know if it was just the tears in her eyes that were giving her a mirage, but Lou saw her mom, Amy and Grandpa standing at the gate, holding some kind of sign.

"What the...?" she mumbled and walked closer, realizing it was really them. When she got close-by, they saw her too. "What are you doing here...?"

"We've come to pick you up", Amy explained, pointing toward the sign that had her name on it. "Mom didn't have time to put on her favorite jacket, so I had to improvise."

Marion nudged her gently and it made Lou laugh. This was her crazy family and she missed being part of it, even though she was too proud to admit it.

"What Amy is trying to say is that we would like it if you would come back home", Marion explained then more clearly if it wasn't evident to her already. "Spend a Christmas with us."

Her mother's eyes were hopeful, but Lou could see her holding back, maybe so she wouldn't get disappointed if she would end up saying no to their invitation.

Lou was speechless. She wanted to consider her mother's proposal, but something held her back. Her gaze moved toward Jack. "Is that what you all want...?"

Jack nodded, surprisingly without a hesitation. "It is. I'm sorry for the way I've behaved. I'm a stubborn old mule when I should have been more present. We should have been more welcoming with you and not just fall into the same old pattern that we used to have. But I hope that you would be willing to give me a second chance to come at this from a different direction."

"None of us are very good with change, but you are. You adapt and that's why you've gone so far", Marion added. "Maybe you could teach us to become better at it."

"So what do you say...?" Amy asked after Marion had stopped. She, too, looked hopeful.

Lou didn't know what to say, she was so surprised and overwhelmed that the family had come here just to ask her back.

Mentally, she had already started to prepare to spend the Christmas in New York, but at the same time, this type of gesture didn't go unnoticed by her, especially after what she had just thought. The family was offering her an olive branch and it was up to her to choose if she decided to accept it or not.

"Yeah", Lou then said, nodding. "I will come and spend a Christmas with you guys", she continued, smiling.

They all then gathered around happily and hugged each other.

"I just need to make a phone call first", Lou announced since she had to let Carl know she wasn't coming back yet after all.

Amy heard Jack grunt, as he still wasn't a fan of cellphones, but Amy hummed at him as one of those were the reason they had been able to get to Lou right now at the right time.

The family then returned back to Heartland after Lou had made a phone call to Carl and explained that the situation had changed and she was staying in Hudson for Christmas. The man had sounded disappointed, but had had no other choice than to accept it.

Jack helped Lou with her luggage as they walked inside. When Amy was helping her with her jacket, the older sister looked around.

She had been right; the place looked different now as it was filled with more love and acceptance.

"Wait", Marion asked when she closed the door behind her. Everyone turned to look at her. Had she forgot something? "Don't take your jackets off, girls, we need to go for a ride."

"A ride...?" Amy echoed.

"With a truck or with a horse?" Lou asked.

"Yeah, it's very important for Lou that you specify that", Amy said, making Lou smile a little bit.

"With a horse. Or horses", Marion said. "I just remembered with everything that's been going on, we still haven't got ourselves a Christmas tree. It was on my To Do List for today."

"What, why? It's like 20 below outside!" Lou protested. "Can't we just use a truck? Or forget about the tree altogether?"

"No? Absolutely not. This is the perfect weather for riding", Marion explained.

Lou thought she was kidding. "20 below? Really?"

"Yeah. No flies", Marion explained.

Amy laughed a little and looked at Lou. She was in agony, just thinking about it.

"I'll get the ornaments out from the attic, you just get that tree", Jack said, quickly stepping inside the house.

"Nice..." Lou looked after Grandpa. He had found a way out from the situation. "Mom... Are you serious with this...?" she wanted to know, just so they weren't making a practical joke on her expense, but Marion seemed to have made up her mind.

"Bundle up!" Marion told her before she headed out.


	9. Chapter 9

Even though Lou was cranky when they got back inside the ranch house, Marion and Amy could tell that she had enjoyed riding with them. She had eased back to being on a horse easily, even though she had been more dramatic than necessary when getting on a horse, while riding and then getting down. Still, Marion and Amy had found it more amusing than annoying.

Amy had a theory that was all just some kind of act to hide that Lou had actually been nervous to be riding after such a long break from not doing it - and of course she had to act she was more "city chick" than she was, to show off a little that she had become more "urban".

"You found a nice looking tree", Jack commented when he and Marion were getting the spruce inside and were about to put it up.

"I think so too. I have been eyeing on it at the lookout for a while now... Thought it would make a nice Christmas tree", she explained while making sure they weren't bumping into anything.

Even though there were a lot of trails she liked taking around here, there was one in particular that Marion liked going to the most. From there, she had a nice view to the valley and the mountains. Whenever she had something she wanted to escape from, it was her spot to think it through and relax.

So, it was fitting that now that they were all in good terms again, she had found a tree that represented the peace of mind she often got from the place where the tree had grown.

Meanwhile Amy and Lou were trying to defreeze by going through the ornaments from the boxes that Jack had brought downstairs from the attic and deciding which ones to put up. Between the tangled tinsels, retro balls and hand-crafted pieces from school projects, they were able to find some gems that would look great on the Christmas tree.

"God, my hands are all stiff", Lou commented, squeezing her fingers into a fist and then opening them soon after to help the blood flow. "If you wanted to remind me why I hate the winters here, Mom, you've succeeded", she said as Marion and Jack arrived to the living room.

"Well, you were seriously under-dressed for the weather", Amy commented. Of course it had been a little too cold for her liking as well, but with a warm coat, some fuzzy socks and a good pair of gloves, she had been able to keep relatively warm during their riding session. "If you don't have any winter clothes in that big bag of yours, what did you even bring with you?"

"Christmas gifts, of course", Lou said, placing the prettiest ornaments on the table. It was nice to see that the family had kept a lot of the old ones she had been admiring when she had been a little girl. They brought a lot of memories back. Even if there were some dark memories in the past, she had always remembered Christmasses as something she had enjoyed - and not just because of the amazing gifts she had received.

The only Christmas that had been truly bad had been the one after Tim's accident. Everything had been a mess back then and no one had really had the Christmas spirit, no matter how much they had tried.

"It's a good thing you weren't able to sneak out of the country or I would have not gotten my presents", Amy said, smiling.

Of course she was mostly just happy to have her sister back home again, but she couldn't deny she wasn't curious about the gifts too. It was nice to know Lou had made an effort and thought about them and initially had thought about staying long enough to share her presents. It just went to show that her quick escape had been an impulsive decision.

"We should let the tree settle down a little before the ornaments", Jack suggested when they were done putting it to the corner of the living room. It had been a harder task than he had anticipated.

Marion walked around, making sure they got the best side facing them.

"What do you think?" Marion asked from the girls who were standing near-by, next to the dinner table. "Think this is the best side?"

"I think... it's a little crooked..." Amy said, tilting her head a little.

"Amy's right; it's definitely facing too much on the left", Lou added, then hearing her ring tone.

While Jack and Marion got back to adjusting the tree, Lou picked up the phone from her pocket and looked at the screen. She didn't recognize the phone number, but couldn't help but wonder if maybe there had been some confusion with the airport since she had not boarded, so she picked it up without thinking too much about it.

"Lou Fleming", she said, putting the cell on her phone.

 _"Hey, Lou",_ she heard a familiar voice. _"It's Dad. Hope I'm not interrupting anything. I just thought I'd give you a call. I have a new number. Again."_

Lou's body got tense and she glanced over her shoulder, walking toward her bedroom to have some privacy. She didn't know if the others would appreciate her talking on the phone with the man.

 _"Hello? You still there...?"_ Tim asked when there was a long pause.

"Hey, dad... Yeah, still here, I just found more quiet place to talk", she finally said back to him when she was far enough. "I have been wondering how you were doing."

She could feel herself smiling and in that moment, Lou couldn't have been happier. Amy might have gotten a postcard, but she had gotten a phone call. That was even better.

 _"Been busy, but I couldn't just not call you... It's Christmas, after all",_ Tim explained. _"So, what have you been up to? How are you?"_

"Oh, you know, same old, same old", Lou said, not wanting to share too much, out of respect for mom, Amy and Grandpa. "What about you? The oil job keeping you busy?" she continued and was then told everything about how much he hated the job, but it was good money. Tim even shared that one day he dreamed about buying his own ranch and was hoping that Lou would come to visit him then.

The longer she listened to him, the more Lou realized that by travelling to Hudson to have a family Christmas, she had ended up getting more than she bargained for.

The whole family was together again.

Kind of.

* * *

Later that night, when Marion was checking the horses before getting back into the house to have a Christmas dinner with the family, she lingered at Pegasus's stall. She had gifted each horse with their favorite treat and with some extra affection as they deserved to be pampered too, but it still felt like something was... off. Like she had not done enough.

"It's been a good Christmas so far", Marion spoke to the horse and brushed his mane gently. "So why am I feeling so restless?"

Even though Pegasus couldn't talk, Marion could see from his big dark eyes that he somehow understood her.

"I guess it's been a while since I've felt this content", she continued. "So happy. And yet... I feel like it's wrong. Why is that?"

Pegasus nudged her shoulder and pushed her back a little, making Marion almost lose her balance. He didn't mean to hurt her, she knew he was just playing, so she laughed.

"What...? You want another treat, is that it?" Marion asked. "Dad might be right; I'm too soft with you guys sometimes... I shouldn't bribe you with candy as much as I am."

But it seemed like Pegasus was not interested in that. Instead, he stared toward the staircase that lead to the loft. Marion listened carefully as maybe some animal had find a shelter for themselves from upstairs, but she heard no sounds. Just the wind howling outside.

"What...?" Marion asked again from the horse.

He lost his interest soon and went back to eat his hay. But for some reason Marion couldn't shake the feeling. She walked closer to the stairs and looked up. It had been a while since anyone had been there and it was probably covered with all kinds of junk.

She decided to have a look.

Grabbing a torch from the shelf, Marion walked upstairs to the loft.

When she reached the second floor, Marion pushed the door open and let the light scan the place. All the furniture Scott had been using were covered with sheets or tarp and they looked eerie. The air was filled with dust particles, so she was careful not to touch anything so she wouldn't be getting a coughing fit by making the dust spread into the air even more.

The place was nice, during summers. Definitely a little brutal during winters. Maybe not as nice when it rained, though one could find it relaxing to listen to the drops hit the ceiling. The roof needed a little tar to fill the holes, though. But the view from the side doors... The view was everything.

It was winter now, otherwise she would have probably pushed the side doors open, but Marion could still picture the view from the top of the barn, looking over the yard and on the other side of the building, over the pond. It almost made her want to move in, but then Jack would barely see her since she spend so much time inside the barn anyway.

But someone could like this place, though. Scott had. Looking around and recalling how he had lived there brought back a lot of memories, but Marion felt like it could use some new ones as well.

Maybe her restlessness was a need for a challenge. Like a new kid to help out. It had been something she had been thinking about since visiting Scott and now that everything was going so well, she could probably fit in a kid to help and who would in return help out the family.

There was a lot to be done around the ranch; the work never ended.

After a while of rediscovering the loft, Marion got downstairs and walked to the barn office. She put the torch down and took the phone that was connected to the landline while getting one of her journals from the shelves behind her chair.

It had been a while since she had needed that number, but she was sure it was here somewhere...

 _There._

 _Riley, Clint,_ it read on the first page of one of the journals she liked to scribble things into. Marion called the number and waited. It went straight to voice mail.

 _"This is Clint Riley. I'm not at the office right now, but you can leave a message and it will be duly noted",_ his message said and then there was a beep.

"Hey. This is Marion Fleming. You might not remember me and I know it's a little bit silly to call you on Christmas since I realize you might not be in, but... I guess I just felt like calling now because I can't stop thinking about this", she spoke to the voice mail. "I was the woman from Hudson who took in Scott Cardinal a while- okay, _pretty long_ time ago", she admitted, realizing years had gone by. "I just met him earlier today; he is doing really well these days. Anyway... It got me into thinking that I might be ready to have another kid around here, to help me out with the ranch work. So... if you are still looking homes to place anyone, I'd be happy to take part. I guess that's it. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. It's Marion Fleming, from Heartland ranch. Okay. Have a good Christmas... Or you might be listening to this after that, so maybe a happy new year? Okay. Call me. Bye."

She hung up the phone and stared at it.

There. That was a start. She might not know if it would lead anywhere, but at least she had tried.

Now she could go back into the house and focus on her family. Maybe next year this time there would be another person sitting around that table, taking part of their family Christmas dinner.


	10. Chapter 10

The tensions are high when Lou comes back to Hudson from New York to spend Christmas with the rest of the family. While the plans don't go quite the way anyone expected them to go, without anyone knowing, this Christmas turns out to be something the family will look back on for many years to come.

Characters: Marion, Lou, Amy and Jack. Mentions of other characters.

A/N: Sets before season 1.

Christmas in 2007 was almost as cold as the previous one. When Amy Fleming was getting ready to put a saddle on her horse, Spartan, she thought year back and how she could remember mom saying something about Alberta not having flies when it was this cold. It made her smile, but at the same time it made her feel a little sad. She would have taken the flies any day to have one last ride with Marion.

A year ago, it had been difficult to get Lou on a horse and out on a ride (on a horse), but this year, it had become a little easier. She was outside with Grandpa, mounted on Pegasus where as Jack had his trusty horse Paint to go on the ride with them. They were talking about the weather too, and Lou had a bouquet of flowers with her. She knew they would freeze pretty soon, but it would have felt weird not to have any flowers to take with them.

They were yellow. Marion's favorite.

"Ready to go?" Jack asked when he saw Amy coming out of the barn.

"Yeah", Amy said, then swiftly mounting Spartan. "Let's go."

Jack clicked his tongue and steered Paint toward the road that would lead them on a trail that then would lead to the little hill not too far from here. Lou followed him with Pegasus and Amy barely had to do anything to make Spartan go after them.

The horse was so smart and eager to please. Mom would have loved him, Amy thought.

* * *

When the trio reached the top of the hill, they got down from their saddles. Each of them tied their horses loosely on the barrier and then headed toward the headstones. None of them were too happy to come here, but all of them felt like it was important to do it anyway.

Especially on Christmas, when the family was supposed to be together.

Jack took off his hat out of respect when he reached Marion's final resting place. It was strange to look at the letters and numbers on the stone, because it was just not natural to have them written on one of these.

It had already felt bad enough to bury his wife few years back and now, last spring, he had had to bury his own daughter after the accident that had took her life. Thankfully, somehow, Amy's life had been spared - even though she had been in the same truck - and he thanked the higher powers for that every day.

It was their first Christmas without Marion and it was going to be a tough one. But somehow it helped that they would do this together and share a moment with the one they missed the most today.

Naturally, their thoughts went to the last Christmas they had shared with her.

"Hey, mom. It's me. I'm back home", Lou started as no one said anything and they stared at the stone, filled with grief. "Scott wanted to send his best. He wanted to come too, but... he's too busy today. Apparently the holidays makes everything crazier", she smiled a little as a picture of her boyfriend came to her mind.

Lou had invited him along today, seeing he was basically family, now even more so when they were back on again. Oh, how much things had changed since the last time she had talked to mom about Scott...

Lou carefully laid the flowers against the headstone and started to sniffle as the feelings were taking over. Jack looked at her, worrying, and placed his big hand on her shoulder for comfort.

"Thanks, Grandpa", Lou said quietly, so she wouldn't start sobbing.

"She would have loved those flowers", Jack knew, trying to hold back the fiery feeling he had at the back of his throat. Lou nodded and came to hug him.

Meanwhile, Amy stepped closer, feeling her heart get heavier. All year around, she had been blaming herself for forcing mom to go and help Spartan during that fateful night. Grandpa on the other hand had reminded her that it had still been Marion's decision to go and she couldn't blame herself for it.

Marion had just loved horses too much for not to go and try to get Spartan out of Mr. Mallen's abusive hands.

"Hey, mom", Amy spoke with a small voice. "I thought I'd bring Spartan here, so you can see he's doing okay. He's mine now and we've formed a bond. He's a great horse. We even won a competition together." She grinned a little, remembering back to the feeling she had had when they had announced the winner at the Fall Finale couple months ago.

Back then, Ty had been here too.

Remembering mom and now Ty as well made her depressed. Even though she had gained a lot by having Spartan, then Lou and Ty join the family, she had lost a lot as well. The whole year had been a roller coaster and she would have wanted her mom there, more than anything. Mom's business with the horses had been a lot to take on, but mostly she enjoyed it and it was what kept her sane sometimes. It made her feel closer to Marion and made her understand her mother even more.

Amy now knew the reason why Marion had preferred horse's over people; they never meant to hurt you.

Every night when she went to sleep, Amy couldn't stop thinking about Ty. Where he was, what he was doing and why he had left like that, leaving her only a note.

After mom's accident, Spartan had felt like the only connection to Marion, but over time, and as she had been started to fall for their new hired hand, Ty, that Marion had decided to take under her wing just before the accident, she had realized that in a way, Ty had been a link to her mother as well.

It had seem so perfect for a while. The boy had understood her and she had taught him a lot of things she had learned from her mom, but he had also taught her a lot of things as well.

They had even kissed and it had felt like the perfect romance. She couldn't have been more happier than on the night she had won the jumping competition with Spartan.

But when you were on top of the world, all the lowest lows felt twice as worse when they followed. And they always did.

As Amy backed from the stone, not being able to say anything else before getting her voice blocked by the lump in her throat, Jack took her close as well. He felt the need to protect her grand-kids, even more now than ever. They were both smart and strong girls, but they had their limits too. It was hard enough for anyone to lose someone they loved, let alone the woman they adored as much as they had adored Marion.

They stood in the silence for a while, but then heard someone approaching by the sounds of the snow that was crushed underneath someone's feet - or hooves. All of them turned their heads and saw a man riding toward the cemetery on a palomino horse.

"Dad...?" Amy voiced.

Jack was having mixed feelings, even though he had made some type of truce with his ex-son-in-law some time ago. He was surprised to see him here, but for the sake of the girls, maybe it wasn't completely bad thing. The comfort of their grandfather was one thing, but they could never have enough support. Surprisingly, the no-good Tim Fleming had cleaned his act and was able to offer them a shoulder to lean on after all, just like Marion had always hoped.

"I'm not too late, am I?" Tim asked when he got down from his horse.

"Late...?" Jack asked, confused. How did he even know when the right time had been?

And just like reading his mind, Lou answered his question. "I called him."

 _Of course you did_ , Jack thought to himself. Even though he didn't say anything, his feelings probably showed because Lou looked at him with a scolding stare.

"He's family too, whether you like it not", Lou reminded. They kept their volume low, but Tim could probably still tell that they were talking about him anyway just from the way he had been able to bring some buzz to previously quiet crowd.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Old habits die hard, I guess", Jack muttered.

"Hey, Amy", Tim said, getting closer, and came to hug her younger daughter. He could see from her eyes that she was close to tears and needed a father right now.

"I'm glad you could make it", Lou said while Tim hugged her sister. "I think mom would have liked that, despite everything."

"I would hope so. I'm not here to create problems", Tim replied, quickly glancing toward Jack to make sure he knew that, then coming to hug Lou when he was done with Amy. They embraced each other for a while till it was time for Tim to face the stone.

He took off his hat, just like Jack, and paid his respects.

Last spring, when Marion's funeral had been held at this very spot, he had been there too, but much further away than the rest of the people. Even though he had been working close-by and keeping his trailer around the area, it had been somehow hard to come here alone. Maybe he still had a fear he would somehow upset Marion, even now. But since Lou had both invited him to the funeral and now here, he felt like he could get away from it easier.

"Hey, Marion..." Tim said with a heavy tone, touching the top of the stone, as if sending his love for the woman. "It's strange to be back here, but... for the longest time, I actually feel at home somewhere, despite every memory I have from here. Still... I can't remember being as happy anywhere else than I was here with you. So, I hope you don't mind me coming back. I've missed the girls; well, you know how they are, so I'm sure you'll understand."

The others listened to his monologue and even though they were standing just behind him, they tried to give him his privacy by staying quiet and respectful.

"I know Lou and Amy have Jack, and he'll take good care of them whether I'm here or not, but I hope you approve of me still being here, in their lives again. I have no doubt about Jack being good with the girls because he once raised you too", Tim kept going, but stopped to think for a minute, "even though I'm not sure how much your mom played a part in it. Probably more than Jack, to be honest."

Jack scoffed, but deep down he was a little bit amused by Tim's cocky attitude. Even after all these years, he still found a way to shoot him down, just like any sons-in-law would have.

Or EX-sons-in-law.

"I guess this past years has just made me think a lot, which I know can be a bit alarming, but... I would have never thought we'd lose you this soon, I don't think any of us expected that. I guess you were just one of those people that everyone expects to just live on, because they are larger than life. You were this glue that kept it all together. But... here we are. You've been able to bring us together now, though. Which is why I don't want to waste another year, another day or another moment. I know it's been a long road from where I was to recovery and I'm still on that road, but I'm much better now, and I promise I'll be much better with the girls too. They deserve it. You once deserved it, too, but I wasn't able to give it to you, so... Here I am; making things right."

When Tim was done, he stared at the stone for a long time and then almost violently wiped his eyes so he wouldn't start crying. He had to be strong, for the girls.

"We should probably head back home", Jack decided then when the wind started to get colder. He put on his hat and everyone said their goodbyes to Marion before going back to their horses.

"We're having a Christmas dinner at Heartland", Lou spoke casually when they exited the cemetery, and Tim came to give Pegasus few scratches. "You're welcome to join us."

Jack, who had just mounted Paint, tried to hold Lou back a little. "Now, be careful, Lou; you invite him to the table once and he never leaves."

Tim chuckled a little, appreciating the old man's dry humor.

"Thanks, Jack, I'm feeling the love on this Christmas", Tim said back to him.

Jack shook his head and steered Paint toward the ranch, leaving the others behind. He was willing to let Tim spend time with his girls, but that didn't mean he would have to spend more time with him than he liked (and he didn't really like to spend _any_ time with him).

As Lou and Tim kept talking, Amy looked over to Marion's headstone one more time. "I love you, mom", she whispered.

Even though she had no evidence to back it up, Amy was still sure that Marion somehow heard it.

After all, all the best things were not seen, but were felt by a heart.

 **THE END.**


End file.
